ALL MY LIFE, I HAVE BEEN FUCKING WONDERING IF THERE WAS A MOVIE BETTER THAN FIGHT CLUB, AND I THINK IVE FOUND IT. TITS, GORE, AND A GUY GETTING SHOT IN THE NUTS, ONLY 15 MINUTES IN. THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS JUST A CLUSTERFUCK OF ANTI-CLICHES AND UNADULTERATED AWESOME GORE. ITS LIKE A HORROR MOVIE, BUT WITHOUT THE SHITTY ACTING, CONTRARY, ALL OF THE ACTORS ARE FUCKING BEAST. THIS MOVIE KICKS SO MUCH ASS I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN. WATCH IT. WATCH IT AGIAN. AND THEN WATCH IT AGAIN. WATCH THE FUCK OUT OF IT. IT KICKS SO MUCH ASS!

CLICK ON THE PROCLAMATION ABOVE, TO SEE WHAT THE FUCK THIS SHIT IS. BITCH.

GAY AS THE NAME SOUNDS, SINCE IT CAN BE RELATED TO “HAPPY MEAL”, A COMMON MEAL IN A MCDONALD’S FOR LITTLE KIDS, THIS GAME IS FUCKING INSANE. ITS GOT EVERYTHING A GAME NEEDS: BICYCLES, SPEED BOOSTS, DEATH SPIKES, FUCKING WRECKING BALLS, AND A FUCK TON OF GORE. YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN LEVELS, WHICH MAKES IT EVEN MORE BADASS, THE ONLY GAY THING IS SEGWAYS, BUT IT CANCELS OUT COS YOU CAN TAKE CHILDREN AND FUCK THEIR SHIT UP. ENOUGH SAID, GO BUST SOME BABY’S SKULLS!

CLICK HERE TO PLAY THE FUCKING GAME

THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BADASS SHIT HAPPENING IN THIS WORLD. FUCK YOU WORLD. THE WORLD CAN GO SUCK MY GIANT HAIRY DICK.

SO THESE HONG KONG TOURISTS WERE LIKE “OMG L0LZ LETZ GO 2 PHILIPINES IT SUX SHIT LMAO” SO THEY GOT ON A BUS AND IT GETS FUCKING TAKEN HOSTAGE BY SOME PHILIPINO ASSHOLES. THEN POLICE COME IN AND ARE LIKE “FUCK YOU TERRORISTS! IMA HIDE BEHIND THIS FUCKING SHIT UNTIL YOU GUYS KILL AT LEAST 7 HOSTAGES!” AND SO THEY DO THAT, UNTIL A FUCKING 8TH HOSTAGE IS KILLED, GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. 8 PEOPLE GET KILLED, AND HONG KONG IS NOW PRETTY PISSED. PHILIPINO POLICE NEEDS TO GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND FUCK SHIT UP. IF I WERE PART OF THE PHILIPINO POLICE, ID BE LIKE THAT ONE GUY IN THE 3RD MATRIX MOVIE THAT HAS ALL THAT HUGE ASS MACHINERY, WHERE HE JUST STANDS THERE AND FUCKS SHIT UP AS ALL THOSE GAY ROBOT FAGS DIE FROM HIS REIGN OF BLOOD AND BULLETS UNTIL ALL OF THOSE DOUCHEBAG TERRORISTS FUCKING DIE. THEN FOR EVERY HOSTAGE THEY KILL, ID TAKE A DUMP ON THEIR FACE. JUST TO SHOW THEM HOW MUCH OF A FUCKING DICKHOLE THEY ARE.

IS THE BEST WORD IN THE WORLD

BULLS: HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

SO IN MEXICO, 2006, A BULL NAMED PAJARITO JUMPED THE FUCKING FENCE AND INJURED 7 PEOPLE. TRUE STORY, YOUTUBE THAT SHIT. BUT NOW, ANOTHER BULL IN SPAIN MANAGED TO JUMP THE FENCE AGAIN! FUCK YES! THIS TIME, THIS BIG BALLED FUCKBEAST NAMED A BULL MANAGED TO HOSPITALIZE  30 PEOPLE! THATS OVER QUADRUPLE THE DAMAGE DONE BY PAJARITO. THAT BULL WAS CLEARLY THERE TO FUCK SHIT UP. 30+ PEOPLE GOT FUCKED UP, ALONG WITH ALL THE MENTAL SCARRING. HOLY FUCK THIS BULL IS BADASS. ASS.

BLUE STOPSIGNS BITCH! THATS RIGHT WHORE! ITS A FUCKING BLUE STOP SIGN. WHO THE FUCK SAYS STOP SIGNS HAVE TO BE RED? WHAT JUST SO EVERYONE CAN SEE THEM? TOUGH SHIT, ASSHOLE! CAR CRASHES KICK ASS!

LIFE WILL BEAT YOU DOWN TO YOUR KNEES AND KEEP BEATING YOU UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT BITCH. STOP WHINING AND WISHING AND MOANING AND MOPING AND FUCKING GET THE FUCK UP AND GO FUCK SHIT UP.

HORN TOADS: HOLY FUCK

NOT ONLY ARE HORN TOADS THE MOST RESEMBLING ANIMAL TO FUCKING DRAGONS, THEY ARE ALSO SUPER FUCKING HORNY, AND CHILL MOST OF THE DAY ON ROCKS OR SOME SHIT. WONDER WHY THEY CHILL, SHITBRAIN? I BET YOU DID. ITS BECAUSE HORNED TOADS CAN FUCKING STAB ANY DUMB-FUCK ANIMAL STUPID ENOUGH TO SIT/STROKE/TOUCH THAT BITCH ANYWHERE! AND IF THAT AINT FUCKING ENOUGH, HORNED TOADS CAN SHOOT VENOMOUS BLOOD OUT OF THEIR EYES!!!!!!!!!  THATS RIGHT BITCHFACE, THEY FUCKING SHOOT BLOOD UP TO ONE METER (METRIC SYSTEM PUTS DICK ON IMPERIAL SYSTEM) THAT CAN KILL COYOTES AND WOLVES AND SHIT! AND OUT OF ITS EYES, NORMALLY THEY USE THAT SHIT TO LOOK AT STUFF, BUT THEM FUCKING *BAM* ITS SHOOTING VENOMOUS BLOOD. THIS IS ONE OF MOTHER NATURES WAYS OF SAYING “HEY REST OF NATURE! SUCK THIS DICK MOTHERFUCKER! I GAVE THIS TOAD FUCKING HORNS AND PROJECTILE BLOOD- THAT SHOOTS OUT HIS EYES! I HOPE YOU ALL FUCKING DIE!”